Silence is Scarlet
by ItalianSoda
Summary: Drugs, rape and homosexuality have entered the world of Warriors. As Lionpaw struggles to understand what's going on with those he cares about, he resorts to a deadly but intoxicating substance that takes all his worries away.
1. Prologue

**SIDE NOTES AND WARNINGS; **This story takes place after the events of the Sight and before the events of Outcast, yet it does not contain the events of Dark River. So perhaps during an alternate time? In any case, the story contains rape, drug abuse and slash. If you can't deal with it, don't read it.

**DISCLAIMER; **I do not own Warriors. I wish I did, though.

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

Moonlight showered the figures gathered around a bright, glowing pool. There were countless felines there, most of whom were uncomfortable in the presence of so many other cats. Certain cats – the cats closest to the pool – stood apart from the rest, looking dignified, though each face was sketched with worry.

"I am pleased to see so many of you here tonight," announced one of the cats, a blue-grey female. "To be honest, I expected only a few to show up."

"For such an important meeting, Bluestar?" another of the more dignified cats pointed out. "These unusual circumstances have piqued interest in even the most ancient of warriors' hearts."

"I suppose so, Oakheart," Bluestar admitted. "I cannot deny the obscurity of what has happened."

"Obscurity?" hissed another cat, a small she-cat. "An awfully polite term for something so repulsive. It seems that for all their pride in their pure bloodline, WindClan has broken the warrior code just as severely as any other clan. In fact, I'd say what has happened is far worse."

There was much muttering at this, and a large number of the gathered cats raised their hackles in anger.

"It is worth mentioning," a black-and-white tom meowed loudly, raising his voice over the murmurs, "that no part of the warrior code says anything against this—"

"And that makes it right, does it?" snarled the small she-cat. "Just because no cat can remember it happening before, Tallstar, the action isn't excused. It is the vilest attempt I have ever seen to spurn a she-cat."

"Oh, I wouldn't say it was about spurning the she-cat," mewed Bluestar quietly.

There was a moment of silence as each cat considered what Bluestar said. When no one made another sound, Tallstar spoke again.

"I think we should decide on what should happen to the violator. Are we all decided on some kind of punishment?"

The cats yowled their approval and began shouting out suggestions.

"He should be exiled!"

"He should be killed!"

"He should be sent to the Place of No Stars, just as any murderer would!"

"Ah, but Dappletail, he _isn't_ a murderer," Tallstar pointed out gently.

"He may as well be! He murdered the poor she-cat's spirit, that's what he did!" Dappletail spat, the usually calm queen's fur ruffled in indignation.

"What'll happen to the kits?" asked another she-cat thoughtfully.

"…Kits, Silverstream?" a black tom with a twisted paw looked slightly alarmed. "She isn't pregnant, is she?

"She is indeed," Silverstream replied sadly. "She will have to be taken out of training - but will WindClan accept her when they find out?"

"Enough of this," Bluestar announced. "We can speak of this more when the time comes. There are other matters to be discussed."

A young tabby queen now came forth, her eyes blazing. "What is there to discuss? I know what you're talking about, Bluestar, but as I have already told you, there is nothing wrong with my son."

"I never said there was," answered Bluestar calmly. "But Brindleface, it is not nothing, as you know perfectly well. Many cats are still in disagreement concerning this."

"So liking cats of the same gender is now a sin?" Brindleface hissed.

"It's unnatural, is what it is," someone muttered, though his words were perfectly audible.

"Kind of gross, if you think about," another cat put in. "Come on, how are they supposed to mate?"

"There's more to love than mating!" Brindleface snapped. "Ashfur is a perfectly respectable warrior; he has never done anything wrong. But if ThunderClan finds out, they'll shun him!"

"I rather agree with you." Bluestar's clear voice rang out. "I do not believe Ashfur deserves any sort of punishment. Does StarClan agree?"

There was more muttering at this, but most cats appeared to agree with Bluestar. Brindleface visibly relaxed, and returned to her position in the crowd surrounding the pool.

"Last but not least," Tallstar announced, "several of the older medicine cats say they have a particular concern regarding a certain plant very few warriors know about. Mothflight, would you like to speak?"

A pretty white she-cat stepped forward; her normally dreamy eyes uncharacteristically clear with purpose. She looked uncomfortable at being surrounded by so many cats she barely knew, as most of the ancient cats avoided the affairs of current generations.

"Thank you, Tallstar. Many moons ago, during a particularly bad leaf-bare, cats discovered a plant we called darkweed. It looked so similar to catnip that cats would use it, thinking it would help cure greencough. Cats who tasted it reported strange occurrences – hallucinations, as well as feelings of elation. In the long term, these cats became addicted to the substance. Though we never discovered any fatal effects, darkweed also eliminated hunger, and so cats would stop eating altogether. They thought they were doing their clans a favour, since prey was so scarce, but they ended up dying of starvation.

"When two-legs took over part of the forest, darkweed disappeared and we haven't seen it until now. Apparently, darkweed grows in many parts of the new territory."

Silence greeted Mothflight's words as the cats in the clearing stared at her in shock. Mothflight, looking embarrassed, disappeared back in the crowd. Bluestar stepped forth once again, her eyes glowing with a kind of fierce determination.

"These three issues will be discussed again in the future when we decide what to do. For now, medicine cats should warn their clans of darkweed and perhaps look into finding a cure."

Tallstar nodded. "We will meet again soon."

Taking that as their cue, the cats left the pool one-by-one, each trying to cover up the desperate worry in their hearts.


	2. Chapter One

**CHAPTER ONE**

Lionpaw's heart pumped with exhilaration as he eagerly followed the other ThunderClan cats onto the island. Jaypaw, much to his dismay, had been forced to stay behind at camp and take care of sick cats. Lionpaw winced as he recalled the disappointment in his brother's unseeing eyes as Leafpool told him his clanmates needed him more than the Gathering did.

"Looking forward to seeing Heatherpaw, are you?" Hollypaw teased, her eyes alight with amusement. "Come on, admit it. She's all you've been thinking about for the past moon or so."

Even though Hollypaw's statement was true, Lionpaw rolled his eyes at her and said nothing in reply. When they neared the WindClan cats, however, Lionpaw rushed to where Heatherpaw stood. Predictably, she was beside Breezepaw, who looked irritated when he saw Lionpaw come up beside him.

"Hi Heatherpaw!" Lionpaw meowed, unable to keep all of his eagerness out of his voice. "And, um, hello Breezepaw. How are you two?"

"Fine, Lionpaw." Heatherpaw stared at the ground as she spoke. Feeling hurt by her lack of enthusiasm, Lionpaw wondered if he'd done anything to offend her, though he couldn't think of anything. Breezepaw didn't say anything at all; instead, he cast Heatherpaw a worried glance, as if he too was wondering what was wrong with her.

"Is she alright?" Lionpaw couldn't help quietly asking Breezepaw, who for once didn't seem entirely hostile towards him. He couldn't tell if Heatherpaw heard the question; if she did, she didn't respond.

"Obviously not!" Breezepaw snapped, keeping his voice low as well. "She's been like this for about a quarter moon now. Hardly responds to anyone anymore."

At the same time, Hollypaw appeared to be trying to make small talk, though she was failing miserably. "WindClan didn't bring very many cats, did they? Are a bunch of your lot sick as well?"

"Yeah," was the only answer Heatherpaw gave.

Lionpaw felt rather relieved when the leaders announced the start of the meeting. He glanced at Heatherpaw frequently, and couldn't fail to notice that whenever a cat got too close to her, she flinched. In fact, she seemed to be avoiding all contact altogether. Judging by how Breezepaw was careful never to touch her, he'd noticed this as well.

"...Several of our warriors have whitecough, though thankfully nothing worse," Leopardstar was saying. Firestar and Onestar both looked very interested in this, while Blackstar, as usual, portrayed no emotion whatsoever.

"What about ShadowClan? Have they been ill as well?" called out Barkface.

Hollypaw shifted uncomfortably beside Lionpaw and hissed, "It looks like the other clans are sick as well!"

"Well, that's hardly surprising, is it? I mean, it is leaf-bare after all."

In reality, Lionpaw wasn't very concerned about the sickness. Sure, it was a pain, having so many warriors stuck in camp all day. It meant extra work for everyone, especially the apprentices - but it didn't seem especially important. It was Heatherpaw that Lionpaw was worried about, and he had the feeling her estrangement had little to do with whitecough.

As the Gathering came to a close, Heatherpaw disappeared wordlessly into the crowd. A moment later, Lionpaw saw her near the WindClan tom Crowfeather, though she kept her eyes downcast. Not for the first time that evening, Lionpaw wished Jaypaw were with him. His sightless brother always seemed to read cats' thoughts, and Lionpaw guessed that if anyone could figure out what was wrong with Heatherpaw, it would be Jaypaw.

Turning to Breezepaw, Lionpaw mewed, "If...if she gets any worse, could you let me know?"

Breezepaw's amber eyes met Lionpaw's, and for a moment Lionpaw felt as if they were friends and not rivals. Breezepaw simply nodded and joined Heatherpaw with his father. Half-wanting to join them, Lionpaw watched the two WindClan apprentices thoughtfully.

"Lionpaw! We're leaving now!"

Ashfur's call broke into Lionpaw's thoughts, and the golden tom reluctantly followed his mentor to where Firestar and the rest of the ThunderClan patrol waited.

"Have you seen Thornclaw anywhere, Lionpaw?" Ashfur asked quietly. Slightly bewildered by his mentor's sudden interest in the tabby, Lionpaw shook his head. Was that..._frustration_ in Ashfur's eyes? Perhaps Ashfur was just worried about his Clanmate. After all, if anything had happened to Thornclaw, every cat would want to know what.


	3. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

Two days had passed since the Gathering. Lionpaw spent his time wondering about Heatherpaw, but Ashfur hardly seemed to care. The grey warrior was so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he barely noticed his own apprentice. Under ordinary circumstances, this might have irritated Lionpaw. As it was, Lionpaw appreciated the many opportunities to spend time by himself.

Hollypaw, however, wouldn't let Lionpaw off so easily. While the golden apprentice understood his sister was worried about both him and Heatherpaw, he wished she'd leave him alone a bit more.

"Look, Lionpaw," she finally told him. "I know you're upset. But daydreaming about a WindClan cat isn't going to help your training! You have to concentrate. Besides, Breezepaw said he'd tell you if she got any worse, didn't he? No news is good news."

While he was inclined to agree, he wished she'd be a bit less practical sometimes. He _knew_ thinking about Heatherpaw wasn't helping anything, but every time he let himself get distracted, he was pierced with guilt, as if he should be trying to work out what was wrong with his friend.

On the third day after the Gathering, Lionpaw was hunting with Ashfur by the WindClan border. Neither of the toms were particularly interested in the hunt, but both felt it would be best if they got something done. It was as they were hunting - or attempting to hunt, since neither of them were succeeding, lost in their thoughts as they were - that Lionpaw noticed a small dark shape hurtling towards them.

"Lionpaw!" called a frantic voice that Lionpaw recognized as Breezepaw's. At once, his heart quickened. This must be news of Heatherpaw. "Lionpaw, have you seen her anywhere? I can't find her!" There was no need to ask who 'her' was, though Ashfur looked vaguely confused.

"When did you last see her?" Lionpaw demanded immediately, panic making him sound much harsher than he intended.

"Yesterday morning, when she went training with Crowfeather. She - she never came back."

"Did you ask Crowfeather about her?"

"Of course! The whole clan's been looking for her. Crowfeather said the two of them split up because Heatherpaw wanted to go hunting alone. Heatherpaw was supposed to meet him back at camp at sunhigh, but she never returned. We thought she might've just wanted some time to herself since she's been upset lately, but she hasn't come back yet and I'm afraid something bad has happened to her."

It was the first time Breezepaw had ever admitted to being scared about anything, and Lionpaw realized the young WindClan tom must be just as terrified as Lionpaw about their friend.

"We'd better look for her," Ashfur suddenly meowed, speaking for the first time. "You tried following her scent, Breezepaw, I'm assuming. Where did it lead?"

Startled at being addressed so suddenly by the ThunderClan warrior, Breezepaw jumped slightly. "I followed it down to the lake, but lost it there."

Lionpaw shivered. What was Heatherpaw doing down at the lake? WindClan cats hated getting their fur wet just as much as ThunderClan cats, if not more. He couldn't see any good coming out of this.

Without making another word, Ashfur began trekking down towards the lake, entirely ignoring the ThunderClan border. Lionpaw and Breezepaw glanced at each other uncertainly, then followed the grey warrior onto WindClan territory. As they grew closer to the lake, Lionpaw was able to pick up Heatherpaw's scent and he began sprinting down thoughtlessly.

"Heatherpaw!" he called, not even trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. "Heatherpaw, where--"

His words stopped abruptly as Breezepaw's tail entered his mouth.

"Mouse-brain!" hissed the black tomcat. "It's likely that Heatherpaw went off because she wanted to get away. Do you honestly think she'll come crawling back for _you_?"

His words stung, but Lionpaw bit back a retort. He realized Breezepaw was probably right, though at the same time he couldn't help wondering _why_. Why would Heatherpaw want to get away for such a long period of time?

The three cats continued walking in silence, their steps gradually getting slower as they approached the lake. The side was a mix of rocks and marsh, and Lionpaw guessed that if they got too close, they'd end up swimming.

"Heatherpaw?" It was Breezepaw who called out this time, and Lionpaw was about to point out that Breezepaw was quite the hypocrite, when he noticed a light brown figure not so far away. Heatherpaw appeared to be standing in a shallow part of the lake, half her legs underwater and up to her neck was drenched. "Heatherpaw, what are you doing?"

Heatherpaw jumped upon hearing Breezepaw's voice, and she backed away, further into the water. Her eyes were wild, scared; none of their old playful laughter could be detected in them now. The sudden movement brought a small splash to her, drawing attention to the upper part of her legs. It was then that Lionpaw noticed the deep gashes along her legs, as well as the bright, scarlet blood streaming down from them.

* * *

DUN DUN DUN DUN. Poor Heatherpaw, I feel kind of bad for her. D: Just so you know, she (as well as a few other characters...) is going to seem a bit ooc throughout most of this story...though I'm pretty sure anyone would be under the circumstances.

Hope you're enjoying it so far. :)


	4. Chapter Three

Thanks to those who reviewed!

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**CHAPTER THREE**

Lionpaw stared in disbelief, and for a moment all four cats were silent. Ashfur and Breezepaw looked equally shocked; they too had noticed the wounds. Heatherpaw stared straight back at them, looking scared and confused and nervous all at once. It saddened Lionpaw to see her like this, and it made him all the more determined to figure out what was going on.

"Heatherpaw," he mewed softly, "Heatherpaw, did you do this to yourself?"

"I tripped," Heatherpaw told them, her voice trembling ever-so-slightly. "I tripped over some thorns, that's all. Guess I bashed myself up more than I thought, haha, eh?" Her weak attempt at laughter sounded humorless to Lionpaw, as if she was hardly even trying to sound convincing.

"She'd better get back to camp," Ashfur announced, speaking for the first time. Heatherpaw's eyes widened at this, and she took a step back into the water.

"I think I'd like to stay out a bit longer, thank you."

Ashfur's eyes narrowed, though not as if he was angry. He appeared to be thinking, though is face portrayed no emotion. "You've been out for quite a while, haven't you? Your Clan must be frantic with worry." He flicked his tail towards the gashes. "Besides, you don't want those getting infected. Breezepaw, I suggest you take her straight to your medicine cat. Don't let any cat near her."

Breezepaw looked faintly surprised at this, but Heatherpaw visibly relaxed.

"What do I do if cats want to talk to her?" Breezepaw asked anxiously. "Won't it seem strange if only I'm allowed near her?"

"You can tell them she's ill and that she may have whitecough. Under the current conditions, no cat will question you."

Lionpaw understood what Ashfur was getting at. So many cats were already ill that no one would want to get close to a potentially sick cat. Glancing at Heatherpaw, he meowed, "Is that alright with you?" _Not that you have much of a choice_, Lionpaw added silently.

He needn't have worried. Heatherpaw nodded, though she still looked a bit uneasy, and finally jumped out of the lake, her drenched fur clinging to her body. She was shivering and Lionpaw was tempted to brush his fur against hers to warm her up, but he had the feeling she wouldn't appreciate it and he didn't want to alarm her even more.

As Breezepaw and Heatherpaw walked away - heading towards the WindClan camp, Lionpaw supposed - Lionpaw wished he could go along with them, just to see how Heatherpaw was doing. Feeling sick with worry, he turned to Ashfur. They grey warrior was watching Breezepaw and Heatherpaw thoughtfully, and Lionpaw wondered what was going on in his head. He didn't seem particularly alarmed or disturbed - though that was hardly saying much, given how emotionless Ashfur had been in recent days.

"I guess we'd better go too," Ashfur suddenly meowed.

They began wordlessly returning to ThunderClan territory, but Lionpaw wasn't sure he could bear another long walk in silence. Uncertain of what to say, he decided to voice his thoughts aloud. Perhaps Ashfur would continue the conversation... "Why did you tell Breezepaw to let no cat near Heatherpaw?"

"For whatever reason, Heatherpaw wanted to get away from someone or something. Did you see how she flinched when we approached her? If she's more comfortable away from other cats, then the presence of other cats isn't going to help her."

To Lionpaw's relief, they continued discussing Heatherpaw all the way back to camp. Despite his concerns for Heatherpaw, he felt oddly cheerful, as if he'd missed conversing with his mentor.

Upon entering the camp, Lionpaw noticed Hollypaw and Jaypaw standing close by, lost in conversation. He briefly looked around for Ashfur to see if they were going to continue training, but the grey tom had already disappeared. He shrugged, and padded over to Hollypaw and Jaypaw.

"Yes, Jaypaw, but couldn't you see who they were?" Hollypaw was asking, sounding faintly impatient.

"They were cats," Jaypaw replied. "Lots and lots of cats."

"Yes, but _who_ were they? ThunderClan cats?"

"There were toms and she-cats, young and old..."

Hollypaw turned to Lionpaw in exasperation. "Perhaps you'll get some more sense out of him. He's had this dream about _cats_ - yes, I know, it's quite shocking - and he won't tell me who they were."

"Was it a dream sent by StarClan?" Lionpaw asked curiously. Hollypaw's eyes widened, but Jaypaw appeared to not have heard the question. When he received no reply from either apprentice, Lionpaw mewed, "What was it about, other than cats?"

"I'm not sure," Jaypaw told him, speaking clearly for the first time. "My vision was all distorted and stuff. I mean, I could see, but it kept going blurry. And I remember feeling really, really happy, but the other cats were all coughing like they were sick."

Lionpaw was bewildered. He was no medicine cat, he knew that, but he could see no sense in the dream. Perhaps it was an ordinary dream after all.

"Well, there have been loads of sick cats...perhaps StarClan's warning you about another kind of illness?"

"Perhaps." Jaypaw sounded unconvinced.

"You should tell Leafpool about it," Hollypaw told him. "Maybe she'll be able to figure it out."

Jaypaw murmured his agreement and left them, probably in search of his mentor. Lionpaw realized that, for a moment, he'd completely forgotten about Heatherpaw and immediately a stab of guilt shot through him. Unfortunately, Hollypaw, perceptive as always, noticed and fixed him with a stare that seemed to see right through him.

"What about you?" Hollypaw asked. "Are you still all upset over Heatherpaw?"

Lionpaw didn't know how to explain what he'd witnessed down at the lake. Heatherpaw, standing in the lake all alone. Heatherpaw, with blood streaming down her legs. Heatherpaw, with her wide, frantic eyes. Heatherpaw...

For reasons he wasn't even sure of, Lionpaw was reluctant to tell his sister the truth. "No," he told her, unable to meet her eyes. "Everything's just fine."

* * *

Sorry for the somewhat anticlimactic chapter there. It's necessary for future events, though.


	5. Chapter Four

Does Hollypaw sound like Hermione Granger to anyone else, or is it just me? Maybe that's just how I've always seen her...

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR  
**

The days passed slowly and uneventfully. Lionpaw generally spent his time lurking around camp or chatting with Jaypaw if he wasn't busy. Ashfur was spending less and less time training and he kept disappearing for extended periods of time. Though Lionpaw couldn't help feeling annoyed with his mentor for ditching his responsibilities and leaving Lionpaw in boredom, he simply didn't care enough to confront Ashfur. Hollypaw clearly disapproved, but Jaypaw seemed to understand and was as sympathetic as he could manage.

It seemed that the more he thought of Heatherpaw, the more depressed Lionpaw grew. For this reason, he began seeking out distractions of any sort. It was at times like these that he wished he could be hunting or practicing battle moves; instead, he took to helping Jaypaw with the sick cats.

"I never thought I'd see the day when _you_ were sorting herbs," Hollypaw commented one evening after she returned from a day of training with Brackenfur. She sounded tired but content, and Lionpaw felt a flash of both envy and irrational anger. These flashes were common to him now - he suspected it had something to do with staying in camp for so long, but he didn't want to do anything about it.

"The sick cats need all the help they can get," Lionpaw told her in what he hoped was an offhand sort of voice. Hollypaw snorted, not believing him in the slightest. "Whitewing, Birchfall, Icekit and Foxkit all have whitecough," he added, as if to make himself sound more convincing, "and I saw Thornclaw coughing this morning, though he doesn't seem too bad yet."

Hollypaw's whiskers twitched. "Anyone have greencough yet?"

"Not yet, no. But Leafpool is awfully worried about Icekit."

"I see. And so ThunderClan now needs three medicine cats? Last time I looked, Leafpool and Jaypaw were getting along fine on their own."

Lionpaw glared at her. "Leafpool and Jaypaw are perfectly happy to have me around. You're the only one who has a problem, though StarClan knows why."

Hollypaw sniffed. "You know that isn't true. Apparently Firestar's going to have a chat with you about duties. He isn't pleased that you're taking so much time off training."

"What?" Lionpaw stared at her in disbelief, momentarily taken aback. "It isn't my fault Ashfur's never around anymore! Why doesn't Firestar speak with _him_?"

Even as he was speaking the words, he noticed a ginger figure approaching them. His heart sank, and he hoped that whatever Firestar had to say, it wouldn't be said in front of Hollypaw. _It's Ashfur's fault_, he told himself bitterly. _It's all Ashfur's fault._

"Hello, Lionpaw," Firestar meowed pleasantly. "Hollypaw, would you mind giving us a moment?"

Hollypaw shot Lionpaw a look that clearly read,_ I told you so_, and padded confidently away.

"Now, I've noticed you're spending a lot of time around Jaypaw and very little time training--"

"That's because Ashfur's never around!" Lionpaw blurted out before he could help himself. He immediately felt a bit guilty - he didn't want to get Ashfur in trouble.

"Ah, yes, I wanted to speak to you about that. But remember, Lionpaw, your training is your responsibility as well. Have you spoken to Ashfur about his disappearances?"

It was obvious that Firestar knew he hadn't. Lionpaw was tempted to glare at him, but thought that, under the circumstances, it probably wouldn't be the wisest decision. Instead, the young tom had to be satisfied with thinking particularly nasty thoughts about the ThunderClan leader.

"I thought not. In that case, I suggest you have a word with him as soon as he returns. Have you any idea where he's been going?" When Lionpaw shook his head, Firestar continued. "I've known more than one cat to disappear for obscure lengths of time, and no good has ever come of it. I don't know what Ashfur's up to, but when a mentor neglects his apprentice, that generally means something bad."

"Not necessarily." Lionpaw couldn't believe he was arguing with his leader. He was very thankful indeed that Hollypaw was not around to hear him. "Graystripe disappeared to see Silverstream while he was supposed to be mentoring Brackenfur, didn't he? But Graystripe wasn't doing anything _bad_, unless you count falling in love with a cat he was forbidden to see..."

"Yes, and Silverstream died!" Firestar was staring at him with such intensity that Lionpaw nearly flinched. "Besides, breaking the warrior code is considered _bad _by most Clan cats."

"That's not what I--"

"You know," Firestar interrupted in amusement, "there was a time when apprentices cowered at the mere thought of arguing with their leader. No, I understand what you mean, Lionpaw, but when a cat slinks off and is unable to tell others what's going on, I can't see much good coming of it."

"I understand, Firestar. I'll talk to Ashfur when he returns."

"Good. The last thing we need right now is one of our best apprentices falling behind in his training. In any case, I'd better go organize some patrols..."

Realizing he was being dismissed, Lionpaw turned away, his heart still racing from Firestar's praise.

--

Lionpaw practically sprinted across the clearing towards Ashfur when the grey warrior returned from wherever he'd been, earning some very strange looks from their Clanmates. Ashfur wore a faintly dazed but blissful expression, and he seemed more cheerful than he had in days when he acknowledged Lionpaw.

"Hello there, Lionpaw. How are you?"

"Where have you _been?_" Lionpaw demanded, ignoring his question altogether. "Firestar came and talked to me, wanted to know why I wasn't training and stuff and--"'

"Shut up, Lionpaw! Not here, okay?" Ashfur hissed, losing his cheerfulness instantly. He glanced around the camp warily, then added, "I'll tell you everything, but we should get away from camp first."

Bewildered, Lionpaw followed his mentor away from the stone hollow and into the dense forest. His anticipation only grew as they walked further, and he vaguely wondered why Ashfur was going to such lengths just so that they wouldn't be overheard. They suddenly halted, and Ashfur briefly scented the air.

"We should be fine here. I just don't want anyone hearing what I have to say who shouldn't be hearing what I have to say. Lionpaw, you can keep a secret, can't you?"

"Of course," Lionpaw told him, his heartbeat increasing rapidly.

"Then don't tell any cat what I'm about to tell you." Ashfur paused, perhaps wondering how best to start his explanation. "You're old enough by now that you understand the...sentiments of she-cats and toms, in terms of mating and such."

"Like love and stuff?" Lionpaw asked, unsure of where this was going.

"Yes. You know that when she-cats and toms fall in love, they have kits and raise families and support each other in times of need."

Lionpaw nodded. Of course he knew what Ashfur was talking about. How old did Ashfur think he was?

"You also know that every now and then, two stupid cats from different Clans will fall in love and attempt to have kits and raise families and support each other in times of need, although this typically fails and the two cats end up in misery."

"What, having you fallen in love with a cat from another Clan?" Lionpaw asked curiously, thinking of Heatherpaw and wondering if she thought of him as stupid. Probably not; she hadn't seemed to be thinking of much of anything in recent days. A familiar stab of worry and guilt pierced Lionpaw, but he ignored it.

"Of course not. I'm just seeing how well you understand love."

Lionpaw couldn't believe they were having this conversation.

"In that case, by now you understand how difficult it sometimes is to control our emotions."

Lionpaw rather liked that. It sounded like Lionpaw's feelings towards Heatherpaw weren't his fault after all.

"In that case, Lionpaw, did you know it is possible for a tom to fall in love with another tom?"

Lionpaw stared. He supposed it was...possible. Logical, even, since toms could fall in love with she-cats. But it was definitely rare; Lionpaw had never heard of it happening before.

"Lionpaw, I'm in love with Thornclaw."

Lionpaw blinked. "How does that explain your disappearances?"

Ashfur sighed. "Some cats...don't like it when cats like those of the same gender as them. Your father, for one. But there are others as well. The only way Thornclaw and I can have time to ourselves is if we leave camp and find somewhere reclusive."

"That's an awful lot of time to yourselves. Most couples manage with a bit less," Lionpaw remarked. He felt a stab of pity when he saw Ashfur wince. "Sorry, I only meant - wait, how do you know my father doesn't approve?"

"Squirrelflight spoke to him moons ago, before you were born. She asked him very subtly about his opinions on the matter, without letting him know who she was talking about, though I think he suspected anyway."

"Is she the only one who knows?"

"Ferncloud and Brightheart know as well. But no one else, and Lionpaw, please don't tell. The Clan can find out when they're ready."

Lionpaw nodded, realizing how much Ashfur must trust him. He almost felt like confessing how he felt about Heatherpaw, but Ashfur had probably already guessed, and anyway, liking a cat from another Clan was much worse than liking a cat of the same gender. _Right?_

* * *

So yeah, this chapter turned out a bit longer than the rest. Another slow chapter, I'm sorry, but I have to set up future drama somehow. D: I was also going to wait a bit before Ashfur confessed, but I want to return to Heatherpaw next chapter.

Oh, Lionpaw. How screwed up your life is going to get (although I guess it already is...).


	6. Chapter Five

Sorry for the delay. D: I got caught up in other things. And again, thanks to those who review/read this story! ♥ It was more meant for my own entertainment than anybody else's (yes, yes I did have a mad desire to write a story about drugs, rape and slash all in one), but I'm glad other people are enjoying it.

_ am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?  
am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?  
are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?_

_I'll show you mine if you show me yours first  
let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse  
let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words_

**-Swing Life Away, Rise Against**

(a song that suits this story quite well, even if it isn't obvious yet)

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Though Ashfur still liked slipping off to see Thornclaw, he went back to regularly mentoring Lionpaw. While this pleased Lionpaw, the young tom had gotten out of shape during the time he'd spent in camp, which made training - particularly battle practice - rather difficult. _It's incredible_, Lionpaw reflected one sunny afternoon when he and Ashfur decided to take a small rest from training, _that Jaypaw and Leafpool aren't both as fat as kittypets by now! They never get any exercise, locked away in camp all day_.

They were training near the WindClan border once again. Lionpaw didn't even bother hiding his reasons for requesting they go there; Ashfur would have guessed anyway, as the grey tomcat clearly saw how attached Lionpaw was to Heatherpaw. Fortunately, Ashfur didn't seem to mind.

"Great StarClan, Lionpaw," Ashfur remarked lightly, "you didn't used to get out of breath so quickly! You've also gotten a bit chubby - I reckon you could compete with Daisy now."

"And who's fault is that?" Lionpaw snapped in return. Though he knew Ashfur was only joking, the words did sting a bit. Because there were so often shortages of prey, Clan cats rarely worried about their weight, but Lionpaw had been feeling rather self-conscious recently. Ashfur wasn't the only cat to comment on his appearance.

Ashfur just snorted, then looked past Lionpaw towards the WindClan hills. "Hey look, it's those friends of yours you've been waiting for the past quarter-moon or so."

Lionpaw practically leaped to his paws. "Heatherpaw? Heatherpaw's here?"

"I'd say she's more over _there_, but yes, she's in this area. As is that grumpy tom she's always with."

"That'd be Breezepaw," Lionpaw told him, trying to hold back laughter. To be fair, Breezepaw had quite a lot to be grumpy about. Glancing at the hills, Lionpaw noticed that there were two shapes with them. To his surprise, they weren't Whitetail and Crowfeather, as he'd expected. He wasn't sure he even knew the two toms accompanying Breezepaw and Heatherpaw.

"There are two ThunderClan cats staring at us," observed one of the toms, a light brown tabby. The other, Lionpaw noticed, had a distinctly torn ear - in which case he must be Tornear, one of WindClan's senior warriors. Heatherpaw had mentioned him once or twice.

"Indeed there are," Tornear mewed, his whiskers twitching. "Meaning either they're confused and think we're on their territory - you can never tell with ThunderClan - or we're particularly interesting to them, for some reason."

"Heatherpaw!" Lionpaw called out without thinking. "Heatherpaw!"

The pretty she-cat glanced at him nervously, then quickly looked away. Breezepaw nudged Heatherpaw and whispered something in her ear, then flicked his tail towards Lionpaw. More confused than ever, Lionpaw watched Heatherpaw look back to him. She seemed to be struggling to hold her focus, as if she wanted nothing better than to shrink back and bury her face in the earth.

"D'you know each other?" Owlwhisker asked Breezepaw in some surprise.

"Of course they know each other," Tornear commented. "They're apprentices. All the apprentices know each other these days, haven't you noticed? It's quite ridiculous; I swear I only knew WindClan cats when I was an apprentice."

"We've met," meowed Breezepaw reluctantly. Clearly, things were no better with Heatherpaw.

For a moment the cats stood in awkward silence. Then, to the five toms' astonishment, Heatherpaw spoke next, "Is everyone sick in your Clan as well? Crowfeather and Whitetail both have whitecough; that's why they're not here."

Her tone was very polite, betraying none of her former anxiety or discomfort. Had Lionpaw not known better, he would have thought she was perfectly fine.

"Yes," Ashfur replied after there was a small pause of silence. "I imagine all the Clans are suffering from illness. But there's so little catnip here. At least we had a Twolegplace nearby in the forest."

For some reason, the topic reminded Lionpaw of Jaypaw's dream. _Sick cats...sick cats. Must've been about this illness, but was it a sign from StarClan or just Jaypaw worrying about his Clanmates?_

"Heatherpaw here's in denial," Tornear snorted. "Refuses to believe she's sick as well, even though her sleep pattern's all off and she's been coughing like mad."

_Coughing?_ Lionpaw met Heatherpaw's eyes for a moment and understood. Of course her Clanmates would notice something wrong with Heatherpaw, and the best way for her to evade explanations was by acting as if something _was_ wrong with her - even if it wasn't the real reason for her odd sleep patterns.

"It's just a cold," Heatherpaw muttered, feigning bashfulness. "It's perfectly harmless." Lionpaw wondered how long she'd kept up with these lies. She was having no trouble making them sound convincing.

"Well, it was nice meeting you," Owlwhisker meowed suddenly, "but we'd best be off. We're supposed to be looking for herbs as well as prey; I can't imagine Barkface will be pleased if we come back with nothing at all..."

--

_Screaming. Shrieks of utmost pain, with shame and fear weaved into the cries. Burning, freezing, itching, aching. The heat of heavy breathing, of fur against fur, of claws raking flesh. Silence - the will to scream but inability to make a sound. Shapes blurred, moving, faster, faster. Drowning. Aching. Itching. Freezing. Burning._

"Stop it," Lionpaw whimpered, tossing around in his nest. "Make it stop. Stop! STOP."

_Faster, faster._

"STOP IT."

_Freezing, burning._

"Please, somebody stop it..."

_Faster, faster._

Lionpaw shrieked out, his heart pounding more rapidly than if he'd fought in a battle.

"Lionpaw, are you alright?"

Lionpaw opened his eyes. Hollypaw was watching him, concerned.

"Just a nightmare."

Not just a nightmare. Lionpaw felt hot and sticky - from sweat, no doubt. Never before had a dream felt so vivid, so _alive_. Was this how medicine cats felt? Somehow Lionpaw doubted it. StarClan was not so cruel as to make any cat go through that.

"Heatherpaw," Lionpaw whispered, so softly that Hollypaw was unable to hear him. "What happened to you?"

* * *

Yes, there was a point to that meeting. I mean, a point other than I wanted to include Tornear just because I lovelovelove Tornear. It's really too bad our main character is in ThunderClan. I like WindClan much better.

There MAY be future tragedy in this story. I'm still undecided. I'm rather fond of writing horrible, depressing scenes, but I don't know if I can do it with Warriors, since I love everyone in it. Dx But if I do kill someone off, it _won't_ be Lionpaw, Hollypaw or Jaypaw. That much I've decided.

I don't know if I like this chapter or not. The first part was more entertaining for me to write (although I had to work hard so as not to get it too off-topic), but the second part was definitely more interesting.

I'm so looking forward to writing about darkweed. 8D Next chapter, I believe.

And if you're under thirteen, you probably shouldn't be reading this. Just so you know.

* * *


	7. Chapter Six

Yayy reviews. 8D

Buahaha this is a chapter I've been looking forward to writing for quite a while. (There are two other chapters I'm really looking forward to writing - looking forward to even more than this one - but they're a hell of a lot darker than this one. DUN DUN DUN.) I'll try to make it as serious as I can, even though...cats on drugs..._Lionpaw_ on drugs...hahaha.

Originally this was going to last only one moon, but I think it'll go for longer. I have another idea for screwing around with Lionpaw's life a bit more.

Did you know, apart from Crowfeather, Lionpaw's my favourite character in the Power of Three?

I like Ashfur a lot, too.

I'm awful.

Enjoy. :)

ps. I listened to U2's 'Beautiful Day' while writing most of this. It goes quite nicely, I think.

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX**

Lionpaw had the dream every night.

By now, the other apprentices had all realized Lionpaw was having nightmares. Hollypaw suggested Lionpaw ask Jaypaw for some poppy seeds, but nothing would stop the horrible dream. Lionpaw didn't doubt it was related to Heatherpaw - even just after the first dream, he'd guessed that what happened to Lionpaw in his sleep was happening to Heatherpaw in reality. The thought made him shudder, for though the dream was terrible, he always knew that that was all it was: a dream. That was not the case for Heatherpaw.

Every night, Lionpaw dreaded going to sleep. He would wake up wanting to flinch from every cats' touch, including his own sister's; he wanted to curl up far, far away from everyone else; he felt as if he got no rest. This made training even more difficult; his muscles were always sore and he was always tired and due to leaf-bare's usual lack of prey, he was nearly always hungry as well. To make things worse, Ashfur was often in a foul mood and was therefore pushing Lionpaw harder than ever. The two toms were no longer so friendly with each other; they both got irritable very quickly. Had Lionpaw not been so caught up with his own troubles, he might have wondered if something was wrong with his mentor and Thornclaw. As it was, Ashfur's secret affair never crossed Lionpaw's mind.

"You're never going to catch anything if you keep falling over," Ashfur observed critically.

"I'm tired!" Lionpaw snapped, his fur bristling.

"Deal with it! Warriors don't let petty things like a bit of weariness stop them from hunting."

"Oh yeah? Why don't you catch something, then?"

To Lionpaw's dismay, a squirrel stumbled across them only moments after he finished speaking and Ashfur was able to swiftly kill it. Furious at the smirk on Ashfur's face, Lionpaw stalked off, feeling about as mature as a newborn kit and not caring in the slightest. Ashfur did not follow.

Wandering through the snowy ThunderClan forest, Lionpaw fumed. Why couldn't Ashfur be at least a little bit sympathetic? Perhaps he truly believed Lionpaw was pathetic. Unfortunately, there was a small part of Lionpaw's brain that agreed. Lionpaw wasn't the first cat to have a disturbed sleep. After all, Firestar himself used to have troubled dreams all the time, didn't he? _But Firestar was always a good warrior despite that!_

His angry thoughts were disturbed when a warm scent suddenly wafted his way - _catnip?_ Momentarily distracted, Lionpaw followed the scent eagerly. If there was enough fresh catnip...he'd be a hero! _Then we'll see just how pathetic I am!_ He didn't recognize this part of the forest, but he was sure he was still in ThunderClan's territory. There were places that were so prey-poor that warriors scarcely bothered going there; it didn't surprise Lionpaw that he'd crossed one of them.

Lionpaw's jaw fell open, and not only because of the delicious smell. In front of him lay masses of catnip, lush and green despite the frost that crippled the other plants. Without hesitation, Lionpaw darted forward and grabbed mouthfuls of the plant, feeling more awake than he had in ages. Though the texture felt funny to him, he'd only ever had catnip once, and he figured it was only because of the cold.

He sprinted back to camp as quickly as he could, though his breathing was heavy by the time he reached his destination.

"Leafpool!" he called, spotting the tabby she-cat instantly and spitting out the catnip.

"Lionpaw - is that catnip?" Leafpool gasped, her amber eyes wide. "Thank StarClan; Whitewing's got greencough."

As she spoke, Lionpaw saw Jaypaw approach them, knowing exactly where they were despite the fact that he couldn't see them.

"Catnip, you say?" he mewed. For some reason, he sounded slightly suspicious, as if he thought Lionpaw was lying. He sniffed the plant uncertainly, then glanced up at Lionpaw. "Where did you find this?"

"Huh-? I don't know, I was just wandering around and there it was..."

"I don't think it's catnip."

Leafpool blinked at her apprentice, startled. "What else could it be?"

Jaypaw shrugged. "Might just be damaged by the cold, but it smells a bit different and feels all weird. Besides, how could catnip survive this weather?"

"I suppose you're right," Leafpool meowed sadly. "It'd be awful if we ended up killing the cats we're trying to cure. I'm sorry, Lionpaw, but we can't use this."

"_What?_" Lionpaw couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wanted to claw Jaypaw, and then perhaps Leafpool as well. He could only hope that Ashfur didn't hear of what happened.

Leafpool looked sympathetic. "Again, I'm sorry. You'd better take this away before some other cat gets all hopeful."

Lionpaw didn't even try hiding his anger as he grabbed the catnip with his jaws and stormed back out of the camp. It was all so _unfair!_ Why couldn't he ever get anything right? Other apprentices didn't seem to struggle with life so much. Not with their friends or their mentors or regular training. But perhaps he could show them. Perhaps he could prove that Jaypaw was wrong and that the catnip was perfectly fine. He didn't need to think twice before he was chewing rapidly on the vibrant green leaves, enjoying a sweet flavor similar to honey.

He realized some part of him must have been nervous, for his body instantly relaxed. There! Nothing had happened! _Of course it hadn't. _Why should something happen? It was just catnip, after all. He continued chewing on the leaves without thinking about it. He was finding the rhythmic motion comforting somehow.

He settled down under a large, snow-capped tree. For some reason, it was as he was chewing on the leaves that he remembered Ashfur's affair. _Just one more thing to worry about,_ he thought bitterly. He wanted to wail aloud like a newborn kit...or perhaps he wanted to curl up and go to sleep and never wake up. His life was so, so complicated; he didn't know how he'd ever sort any of it out. A small part of him wished he could confide in Hollypaw or Jaypaw, but he knew he couldn't. Jaypaw was too busy with his medicine cat duties, and Hollypaw...Hollypaw would try to sort everything out practically, giving him false hope until he realized there was no hope left, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to bear the disappointment. Ordinarily he would have talked to Heatherpaw, but of course that was impossible.

With this last thought, he let his mind go blank - he didn't want to stress himself out even more. He watched the snowflakes gently fall to the ground, coating the ground with a soft layer of pure white fluff, each tiny crystal different from the next. The wide sky was very pale grey, yet beautiful in it's simplicity. _Leaf-bare isn't so bad,_ Lionpaw thought dreamily. In no other season was the forest in such comfortable silence, it's serenity untouched by the horrors of the beings who inhabited it.

A kind of peaceful bliss enveloped the young golden tom. He absentmindedly began chewing on more of the catnip, feeling a most wonderful sensation course through his body. Ashfur, Thornclaw, Breezepaw, Heatherpaw, Hollypaw, Jaypaw...they all seemed very distant. Not unimportant, exactly; he just knew he couldn't sort out his problems right now anyway - what was the point in worrying about it?

He didn't know how long he lay there, more relaxed than he'd been in ages. Eventually he decided he'd better go back to camp; it was getting dark and he had to get some rest - hadn't he been exhausted earlier? Reluctantly, he realized he'd have to leave the catnip behind. Leafpool would only get angry with him if she saw he still had it.

He slowly got to his paws, staggering a bit. He felt slightly dazed and, indeed, his vision was a bit blurred. He shrugged - perhaps he was more tired than he'd thought - and took a step forward.

The trees moved.

"No they didn't," Lionpaw argued aloud, not sure who he was talking to. Himself, probably. It didn't make sense, though. Trees didn't move.

He took another step forward. The trees stayed still.

Another step.

The trees moved again.

Lionpaw was beyond sane thought now. "It's sort of pretty, isn't?" he meowed. "They sort of _whish_. It's just the wind, I guess, but it is very lovely. Hey look - that one jumped! Oh, hah, maybe that was me."

He laughed, deeply amused with himself.

He returned to camp quite cheerfully, even meowing a bright greeting to Daisy as he passed her. No, he wasn't just cheerful - he was ecstatic! He wasn't sure he'd ever felt this good before.

"Hi Hollypaw!" he meowed happily, as he approached her by the apprentice's den.

"Oh, hello, Lionpaw," his sister replied, looking startled.

"Did you know? - the trees were moving!"

"Were they now?" There was a hint of alarm to her voice.

"You don't believe me." Lionpaw felt a burst of irrational anger. Why did Hollypaw have to ruin everything?

Hollypaw blinked. "I didn't say that. It just sounds...unlikely."

"Fine, whatever. I'm going to go sleep now."

"You're not having anything to eat?"

"I'm not hungry." It wasn't a lie.

Hollypaw didn't stop him when he went into the den and collapsed on his nest.

For the first time since his meeting with Heatherpaw, Lionpaw did not dream.

* * *

For some reason, I've felt it necessary to write these past two chapters late at night. You know, when I'm so tired I can't think properly.

DON'T DO DRUGS, KIDS. See? See what they can do to you? Haha, Lionpaw sounds so crazy. In fact, maybe he is crazy. It'd explain a lot.

We're going to get introduced to a new character next chapter. Well, not new, since this new character already exists in the Warriors books, but new to being important in this story. Thornclaw's going to actually have a role too.

Wow, right after I finished writing that, my brother came along and told me he was thinking of trying mushrooms or acid.

...idiot.

DON'T DO DRUGS, KIDS.


	8. Chapter Seven

Thanks for reviewing!

Um, yeah. Sorry this took so long to get up.

--Totally irrelevant, but the new TAI cd comes out tomorrow. 8D

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

The next few days passed in a haze. Lionpaw got up early every morning to seek out the catnip, never telling any cat the truth of where he was going. He didn't need to question this decision; he was sure most cats would disapprove. In any case, no one ever asked. They all thought he was busy with training, and Ashfur didn't seem concerned with his apprentice's secrets. Perhaps because he was too caught up in his own.

Every morning, Lionpaw awoke to intense cravings. He never felt hungry - if he stopped to think about it, he would have realized he hadn't eaten properly once since he'd started with the catnip - but the catnip was all he could think about, and he simply forgot about prey. In truth, the only time he did eat was when a denmate - usually Hollypaw - asked why he wasn't eating and he'd remember to act normal.

Every evening, Lionpaw would return to camp feeling better than he could ever remember feeling. All his previous worries vanished, and were replaced with utmost glee.

It was on an ordinary day that things took a different turn for the young tomcat. He awoke bright and early, as usual, and slipped out in search of his precious catnip. He was chewing on the juicy leaves hurriedly when a voice interrupted him.

"What in StarClan's name are you doing?"

Lionpaw jumped up in alarm, his heart pounding. Poppypaw was watching him, looking a tad confused.

"Where did you come from?" Lionpaw demanded, perhaps a little more harshly than necessary.

"I was just hunting around here and I saw you..." Poppypaw trailed off and her eyes grew wide. "Is that _catnip?"_

"Yes, but you're not allowed to have any."

Poppy stared at him.

"Sorry, no, it isn't catnip. Well, I don't think it is anyway. Jaypaw didn't think so and I didn't believe him so I tried it and...and it's supposed to work!"

"It's supposed to work?" Poppypaw echoed, thoroughly bewildered. "What does it do?"

"It makes me happy!" Lionpaw snapped, as if this was something Poppypaw should know.

"...oh..."

"It should have done something by now. Yesterday it came on immediately, but it isn't doing anything."

"The feeling, you mean? Maybe it only works once?" Poppypaw suggested.

"No...no, it can't. I need it. I need it!"

Poppypaw blinked. "Perhaps you should go see Leafpool--"

"I don't need to see Leafpool!"

Poppypaw flinched. For a moment her eyes met with Lionpaw's and Lionpaw realized she was afraid. She was _scared_ of him.

"I'm sorry," he mewed again, more politely. "Would you like some?"

"I think I'll pass, actually."

Lionpaw wasn't surprised. She couldn't possibly know how wonderful it was, and Lionpaw wasn't doing a very good job at describing--

Lionpaw shrieked.

"What is it?" Poppypaw asked, concerned.

"The trees!" Lionpaw gasped, feeling queasy. "They're bleeding! They're bleeding, Poppypaw!"

"The trees look fine to me."

"No, no, blood! So much blood, blood everywhere... I'm going to drown in it, Poppypaw, Poppypaw, I'm drowning!"

Without hesitation, Lionpaw started running, not knowing where he was going. He just had to get away, get away from all blood. An entire lake of red was following him, swarming him, engulfing him. He couldn't breathe; he was going to drown in it; he was going to die, Great StarClan, he was dying. He struggled to get to the surface of all the blood, twisting and turning whichever way he could, but no matter which way he moved, there was always more. He spluttered, he choked, he gagged, and still more of the blood came. The trees were now nothing but shadows; the sky was the colour of ochre. If he focused, he thought he could see the pale face of Poppypaw, but she kept disappearing. She too was being swept into the masses of blood.

"Lionpaw."

Blood, blood everywhere. Would he never escape it? Perhaps he'd be stuck there forever, drowning. Why hadn't he died yet? He should be dead now. Some small part of his mind reminded him that this was impossible, that there was no way he could suddenly be surrounded by blood. Perhaps it was just a nightmare...but no, no nightmare could ever be this _real_.

"Lionpaw."

He didn't know how long he was there, frantically scrambling in hopes of get away from the awful hallucination. Could have been days; moons, even.

"Lionpaw!"

Gradually, however, the blood seemed to fade; the crimson earth became frosty white once again, and the sky turned blue. Though his head was pounding furiously and his heart was still beating faster than usual, his mind had cleared considerably. What had happened? He didn't feel remotely happy; instead, he felt weak and shaky, and as if his legs could collapse at any moment.

"Are you okay?" Poppypaw asked uncertainly. _She must have stayed with me throughout the whole vision,_ Lionpaw realized, feeling touched. Her eyes were wide - with alarm, fear or concern, Lionpaw couldn't tell. "You seem...better now."

"Yeah, I think I'm alright." In reality, he was rather embarrassed. He must have looked pretty stupid, especially after he'd been going on about how fantastic the catnip was.

"I take it that wasn't supposed to happen?"

Lionpaw chuckled, though there wasn't anything humorous about the situation. "No...no, that wasn't _quite_ what I was aiming for."

Poppypaw nodded, as if she'd expected this, and the two of them sat in silence a bit longer. To his horror, Lionpaw realized he'd begun craving the substance once again, and immediately sprung to his paws.

"Let's get back to camp," he mewed anxiously. Poppypaw did not reply, but obediently began padded towards camp with Lionpaw following closely behind. It took all of his willpower to not dart back to the catnip and consume all of it at once - perhaps he'd go back for it later...when Poppypaw was no longer around. Lionpaw wasn't sure why he felt so ashamed, but he now knew that if he was to continue chewing on those leaves, it would have to be kept secret from _everyone_.

"How long have you been...you know?" Poppypaw inquired quietly.

"Not very long. It's never done that before."

"I see."

More silence. Privately, Lionpaw wished Poppypaw would simply go away, but he thought it would be a rude to tell her so, especially after she'd waited so kindly for him throughout his hallucination.

"Would you mind not telling anyone about...about the catnip?" he meowed suddenly, feeling his fur heat up, though he wasn't sure why.

"Of course I won't tell," Poppypaw replied dismissively. The thought had probably never crossed her mind.

"Oh. Thanks."

When had it gotten so awkward? It was just _Poppypaw_ he was talking to, not some heroic senior warrior. And sure, he didn't know Poppypaw too well, but that was no reason for him to go all shy on her all of a sudden.

"Lionpaw? Poppypaw?"

Thornclaw padded out of the bracken, looking relieved as he saw them. Lost as he'd been in his thoughts, Lionpaw had not noticed his scent. Judging by Poppypaw's startled expression, she had not noticed him either.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Oh - I just wanted to ask - I mean I thought if anyone would know - have either of you seen Ashfur?"

Lionpaw stared at him. He'd never seen the ThunderClan warrior look so uncomfortable. _He must be even more embarrassed with Poppypaw right here! _Lionpaw and Poppypaw both shook their heads.

"Oh. It's just, he said he'd be back soon and I waited for him, but when he didn't come back, I figured he'd gone training with you -"

"He said he'd be back soon?" Poppypaw echoed, puzzled.

"Yeah, something about some WindClan apprentice, Harepaw or Heftypaw or something -"

"Heatherpaw?" Lionpaw demanded, his heart sinking rapidly. _Foxdung! _He'd completely forgotten about her! "Was it Heatherpaw?"

"Might've been, I don't know. I get all those WindClan cats mixed up. Anyway, a little black cat came, said there'd been trouble with that apprentice. He was asking for you, actually, but Ashfur said he'd go instead. That was at Sunhigh and he isn't back yet! I've always _known_ no cat should trust WindClan, what if they did something..."

Lionpaw was nearly seething with frustration. The mousebrain! Didn't he realize this was far more serious than petty Clan rivalries?

"I'll go see what's up," he meowed shortly. "Be back soon."

Thornclaw looked uneasy. "Lionpaw, this is WindClan we're talking about and you're still an apprentice, perhaps someone else -"

"This is _Heatherpaw_ we're talking about! There's nothing an older cat could do for her that I can't!"

With that, he charged through the forest, ignoring Thornclaw's protests.

* * *

Inspired by a bad trip my brother once had.

Sorry about making Thornclaw sound so dense in this chapter. XD

So...why Poppypaw? To be perfectly honest, I would have loved it if it had been Icepaw...but Icepaw happens to be a little young in this fic (I love Icepaw and I do think that if Lionpaw doesn't go bad, they should get together). So I was deciding between Hazelpaw, Honeypaw, Cinderpaw and Poppypaw. I didn't think we'd seen enough of Hazelpaw for me to describe her accurately and I probably would've felt obliged to have Honeypaw hit on Lionpaw if she'd been involved, so they were both out of the question. As for Cinderpaw and Poppypaw...it was pretty tough choosing, actually. I really, really do not like Cinderpaw (even though the original was one of my favourite characters), but she seems more important in the actual books than Poppypaw. In the end, I only really picked Poppypaw because of her name and because this story is partly about drugs. So it seemed to fit.

By the way, Lionpaw's warrior name isn't cool at all. I might change it in this fic, if he happens to get his name in this fic.


	9. Chapter Eight

Thanks for reviewing! And yes, everything in this chapter _does_ have a point.

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT  
**

"Lionpaw!"

Lionpaw sighed, and slowed in his pace. He'd expected this - of course Poppypaw would want to come with him. "Look, Poppypaw, I really don't have time -"

"Shut up and keep going. You're still unstable after that..._experience_ of your's. What use will you be to Heatherpaw if you suddenly collapse on her?"

Deciding it would be hopeless to argue with her and that there was no time to waste anyway, Lionpaw shook his head and continued on. Familiar as he now was with the route to WindClan, he was able to go straight through the woods without hesitation. Poppypaw swiftly followed his lead, never making a sound. It wasn't difficult to find Ashfur's still-fresh scent, especially when they began hearing screeches the further they delved into WindClan territory. Before long, they were at the place by the lake where Heatherpaw had first been seen with gashes.

At first, Lionpaw could not see Heatherpaw. Breezepaw and Ashfur blocked his view, apparently trying to approach Heatherpaw. She was crouched low on the ground, as if about to attack, her teeth bared.

"Get away from me!" she screeched, stepping back from Breezepaw, who was nearest to her. "Don't touch me!"

"It's just like before," Breezepaw muttered, without looking up as Lionpaw came to stand next to him.

"No, it's worse," came Ashfur's low mew. "She's gotten even worse."

"Heatherpaw? What's happened to you? Why can't you tell us?" Lionpaw didn't expect a rational answer, but even he was startled by the snarl of fury that came from the WindClan she-cat.

"I'm _fine!_ Just leave me alone! How hard is that to understand?"

"What are those wounds on her back?" Poppypaw questioned, apparently not at all fazed by Heatherpaw's anger.

"She's been harming herself," Lionpaw told her wearily. "We don't know why. She's been...strange for a while now. Won't let anyone go near her."

"No, those are different," mewed Breezepaw suddenly. "There's no way she could have reached those herself. Something - or someone - else must have done that to her."

This statement did not have a positive effect on the small group of cats. Lionpaw was barely able to stifle a gasp and Poppypaw's eyes widened; even Ashfur looked perturbed.

"Who would do something like that?" Poppypaw wondered aloud. "Rogues, maybe?"

Ashfur shook his head. "It's likely that this cat - if it is indeed a cat - is what's been hurting her all along. If it were rogues, a WindClan patrol would have picked up the scent."

Realizing where he was going with this, Breezepaw snapped, "You're making it sound like it was a WindClan cat! No one in my Clan would - would do something to purposely wound her."

"Are you sure? Has she ever done anything to offend anyone in your Clan?"

"Of course I'm sure! Everyone loves Heatherpaw!"

"...I see..."

Breezepaw glared defiantly at Ashfur, who gazed back calmly. Lionpaw couldn't help admiring his mentor's composure.

"Oh, and by the way - you might want to try disguising your scent next time," Breezepaw told them, relaxing a bit. "My Clan thinks ThunderClan's stealing prey. They're not very happy about it."

"Didn't you tell them otherwise?" Lionpaw asked angrily.

"Tell them what? That I've been asking an enemy Clan to trespass?" Breezepaw looked away. "Anyway, they've been talking about attacking...you might want to be prepared, just in case."

--

_Faster, faster._

"Not again, oh StarClan, no..."

_"Stop screaming, you filthy little tool!"_

"No, no, no more!"

_Sweating, gasping, tearing._

"Leave me alone...go away..."

_Bleeding, bleeding, screaming, bleeding._

"Please, just go away!"

_Drowning, bleeding, pushing, tearing._

"Get away from me!"

_Bleeding, bleeding, blood everywhere..._

--

Lionpaw nearly sprinted out of the apprentice's den when he woke up. He didn't think about where we was going - he didn't need to. All he knew was that, despite his awful last experience, the catnip took away his nightmares. Even if it didn't make _happy_, anything was better than the torture he'd gone through the previous night. _And you, Heatherpaw? Do you go through that too?_

--

"Hey Poppypaw!" Lionpaw exclaimed joyfully.

"Hello, Lionpaw."

The two apprentices were lounging around camp, with nothing to do. Their mentors were off doing StarClan-knows-what in StarClan-knows-where, but Lionpaw didn't mind - he was feeling _great_.

"Look, it's raining flowers! Poppies, Poppyaw, just like your name!"

"Lionpaw, do you even know what you're saying? That's _snow_, not rain nor flowers."

"No, no, see? Can't you see the poppies, Poppypaw?"

"What's going on?" a voice interrupted. Jaypaw had come over and was watching them curiously - or rather, his sightless eyes were focused on them and he appeared to be listening attentively.

Poppypaw rolled her eyes. "Lionpaw's hallucinating again."

"Hallucinating?"

"I'm not hallucinating!" Lionpaw snapped. "There really are flowers falling from the sky!"

Jaypaw stared at him. "What did you eat today, Lionpaw?" Leaning close towards his brother, he sniffed. His eyes widened and he added, in a very cautious voice, "Why do you smell like catnip?

Poppypaw gave him a long look, as if debating whether or not she should betray her promise. "Oh well...as you're his brother, I guess it wouldn't hurt for you to know..." Raising her voice, she explained, "It's this plant he's found. Looks like catnip, smells like catnip, _feels_ like catnip. It makes him...well, like this."

Jaypaw nodded slowly. "That's what I thought. It's called darkweed."

"Darkweed?" Poppypaw echoed, bewildered. "You know of it?"

"That's not a very pretty name," Lionpaw put in, momentarily distracted from his gazing at the 'flowers.'

"It's not a very pretty plant, from what I've heard," Jaypaw mewed. "StarClan...StarClan warned me about it in a dream. Or they tried to, anyway, but I didn't understand it. Anyway, they more or less explained it to me last time I went to the Moonpool. Makes cats hallucinate and then they grow addicted and stop eating... Lionpaw brought it to Leafpool before, but I suspected what it was. He was supposed to get rid of it, but I guess he didn't."

--

Several days later, Lionpaw was on patrol with Ashfur, Brackenfur, Hollypaw and Firestar. The golden apprentice's mind was completely clear; although he didn't care what Ashfur thought, he didn't want to hallucinate in front of the others cats, especially Firestar.

_Darkweed. _That's what Jaypaw had called it. An unpleasant name for something so _good_. Yet a small part of brain wondered exactly how good it was. Try as he might, Lionpaw had no forgotten the one vision full of blood.

An angry snarl from Ashfur interrupted his thoughts. Jumping slightly, Lionpaw looked around to see several WindClan cats, right on the border, glaring at the ThunderClan patrol furiously.

"Ashfoot," Firestar acknowledged, his voice very polite, "can I help you?"

"Don't mock me, Firestar!" the WindClan deputy snapped. "My warriors have scented _your_ cats on our territory! Stealing prey, no doubt - is the noble ThunderClan finally feeling the effects of leaf-bare?"

"What's she talking about?" Hollypaw asked Lionpaw quietly. "Why would any ThunderClan cat cross borders for a couple of half-starved rabbits?"

Lionpaw didn't reply. He was staring at the WindClan cats in horror, taking in what was happening. Ashfoot, Tornear, Crowfeather, Owlwhisker, Whitetail, Nightcloud, Breezepaw and - Lionpaw couldn't believe it - Heatherpaw. _Who in their right mind would force her into battle? _It looked like they had taken every cat fit to fight - in which case, Breezepaw's "they're not very happy about it" was a huge understatement. _I should have warned Firestar! _Judging by Ashfur's expression, the grey warrior was thinking the exact same thing.

"Hollypaw, go get more cats, quick!" Brackenfur hissed. Hollypaw sprinted off, running faster than Lionpaw had ever seen her run.

"They're going to _slaughter_ us!" Ashfur exclaimed.

"We should just back down now," Lionpaw agreed quickly.

Brackenfur glanced at him surprised. "Really? I would have thought you'd be eager to fight again."

"Not against these odds!" _Not against Heatherpaw! StarClan, what are you doing to her?_

"Hush!" Firestar looked uneasy. Perhaps it was dawning on him how impossible this fight would be. "Ashfoot, if any cats of mine have been on your land, I am very sorry. I know nothing of it. However, if you want a fight, you may have one."

The WindClan cats began muttering amongst themselves. Lionpaw caught the phrases, _"Is he mad?" _and _"This'll be easy - they'll be gone in no time!" _Perhaps they'd simply been hoping to scare the ThunderClan cats off - but what would that have achieved? _No,_ Lionpaw decided. _They were looking for a battle._

"This is how you value the lives of your Clanmates?" Ashfoot taunted. "Very well - maybe this will teach your cats some respect! WindClan, attack!"

* * *

I apologize for Ashfoot's cheesy lines. I just always picture her with cheesy lines for some reason.

Now, something to keep in mind for next chapter - as is pretty obvious, this story differs greatly from the real Power of Three (unless Lionpaw really is on drugs, which would make a ton of sense - haha, just kidding, I love Lionpaw). Dark River, Outcast, Eclipse - none of those exist in this story. But The Sight does, and the prophecy - _there will be three, kin of your kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws_ - does as well. Therefore, at this point, while Lionpaw and Hollypaw are still all-supreme rulers of the universe, they don't know about the prophecy and they don't know what they can do.


	10. Chapter Nine

Thanks for reviewing! :D

Poor Thornclaw - I'm totally abusing him in this story. ...but then, I suppose I'm abusing everyone in this story...

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE**

Lionpaw barely had time to prepare himself when he was suddenly knocked off his paws. The WindClan she-cat Whitetail was clawing at him viciously, but for a moment her eyes met his and Lionpaw saw only sadness there. Here was one cat, at least, who was not enjoying the battle.

To his amazement, when Lionpaw pushed her off of him, she tumbled away easily, as if she weighed nothing at all. However, he barely had to time to gloat when Tornear and Owlwhisker replaced her. _Their_ eyes held nothing but cold fury and disgust.

"It looks like no one's here to help you," Owlwhisker told him mockingly. "What're you going to do, little apprentice?"

"Looks like this isn't ThunderClan's day after all," Tornear added in triumph. "Look, one of your warriors is already down!"

He was right. Brackenfur was lying very still on the ground. But while his fur was soaked with blood, Lionpaw noticed that his tail twitched. _He's not gone yet! _Meanwhile, Firestar, it seemed, was trying to fight three cats at once. Ashfoot, Nightcloud and Breezepaw were tearing him apart, although Lionpaw could tell that Breezepaw's participation was only half-hearted. Crowfeather was locked in a battle with Ashfur; Lionpaw could not tell how keen either of them were on the fight.

_Which means..._ There she was; Heatherpaw was crouched low behind Breezepaw. Apart from her older wounds, she was completely unscathed, and Lionpaw realized she was not participating at all. He nearly sighed in relief - he wasn't sure how her Clan would react if they found out, but at least she was safe.

"What are you looking at?" Tornear asked, momentarily distracted. Grasping the opportunity, Lionpaw forced all his weight onto Owlwhisker, who took a step back in surprise, giving Lionpaw control once again. Within heartbeats, the two WindClan warriors had fallen into the crisp, white snow. Lionpaw was barely able to suppress a kit-like shout of success. _Ha! _he congratulated himself, basking in his own brilliance, _take that! No one can say apprentices are too young for this sort of thing!_

However, just when Lionpaw was ready to take on more cats - he'd fight the whole of WindClan if he had to! - they heard a wild battle cry and ThunderClan cats began pouring into the area: Honeypaw, Berrypaw, Brambleclaw, Cloudtail, Cinderpaw and, of course, Hollypaw, who was looking quite pleased with herself. The battle turned almost instantly, although the WindClan cats did not back down. Suddenly, ThunderClan was no longer being shredded, although the fight was not won yet.

For a heartbeat, Lionpaw simply stood still, unsure of what to do next. WindClan was clearly losing now, and ThunderClan hardly needed him.

_...WindClan's losing..._

It had never occurred to Lionpaw that he might actually want WindClan to win. It was different with less cats...the young tom was more in control of his surroundings then; he could, to an extent, control who was injured and who wasn't. But now...now _anyone_ could get hurt, and Lionpaw might not even notice.

_Who's side am I on, anyway?_

Ignoring the swarm of hissing, lunging cats around him, Lionpaw scanned the fight. Had he not expected her to be low to the ground, Lionpaw would never have found Heatherpaw. Breezepaw appeared to be defending her, lashing out if any cat got to close, while Honeypaw and Berrypaw were trying to attack her.

"What a coward," Berrypaw snorted.

"No kidding," Honeypaw added. "Come on, fight us!"

"Leave her alone!" Breezepaw snapped. "Why not help out your Clan for a change? Heatherpaw's hardly doing any harm."

Berrypaw looked furious at this and opened his mouth to make a retort, but at this moment, Ashfur intervened, his face as expressionless as ever. "Calm down, Berrypaw. They're not doing any damage; you may as well defend us against the cats who are."

Berrypaw and Honeypaw charged away at the warrior's words while shooting scornful glances at Breezepaw and Heatherpaw. Lionpaw felt a flash of anger - what right did they have to judge the two WindClan apprentices?

"Listen," Ashfur told Breezepaw quietly, "you two are going to get in trouble for not helping your Clan out, especially if WindClan loses - don't look at me like that, Breezepaw, even you must be able to see that ThunderClan is winning. I understand and admire the fact that you are trying to protect her, but you won't be doing her any good by getting yourselves in trouble."

"Better punished than injured!" Breezepaw protested. "She's bad enough as it is."

"No, Breezepaw. Defend your Clan, or else you'll -" He was cut off when Breezepaw launched himself at him, angrier than Lionpaw had ever seen him.

"How's that?" Breezepaw hissed. "Look, I'm defending my Clan!"

Unfortunately, to most of the cats, it appeared that Ashfur and Breezepaw were fighting for the same reasons as the rest of them. Thornclaw - concerned for his lover, no doubt - decided to join in the fray by raging against Heatherpaw, which set Lionpaw off against his own Clanmate. Thornclaw, taken aback, stared at Lionpaw with a mixture of horror, fury and disgust.

"What do you think you're doing?" Thornclaw demanded. "Decided to join WindClan now, have you?"

Startled at his own actions, Lionpaw sheathed his claws and backed down. "Um. Sorry about that."

Thornclaw snorted. "Watch what you're doing, will you?" Lionpaw flinched at the warrior's hostility. The last thing he needed right now was to make an enemy of his mentor's lover.

Gradually, the battle ceased and the WindClan cats fled. Lionpaw breathed a sigh of relief - he never wanted to fight WindClan again, especially not if it meant choosing between his Clan and Heatherpaw. Firestar called the ThunderClan cats back to camp, and Lionpaw noticed that nearly every cat was cheered by their success.

"Did you see me take on that she-cat?" Cinderpaw was purring. Cloudtail gave her a friendly cuff on the ear.

"She didn't stand a chance against you! Well done, Cinderpaw. You fought like a warrior! You too, Hollypaw - I'll make sure Firestar hears about this."

"No need, Cloudtail." Firestar was already beside him, his head held high with pride. "All the apprentices were brilliant. Before you got here, Lionpaw took on more than one cat at once and won!"

Lionpaw barely had time to rejoice at his leader's praise when Thornclaw padded up to the flaming tom and whispered something in his ear. Firestar's eyes widened in shock, and he gave Lionpaw a very surprised - and displeased? - glance. Lionpaw felt his heart sink. Would this battle destroy his chances of becoming a warrior? _But no...it can't...it was just Heatherpaw!..._

"Don't worry," Ashfur murmured. "We'll sort this out somehow."

"I don't think Thornclaw likes me very much anymore," Lionpaw told him sheepishly. His mentor gave a _mrrow_ of laughter, but to Lionpaw it seemed like the laughter didn't quite reach his eyes.

--

_Screaming, shrieking. Burning, freezing, itching, aching. Silence. The will to scream but inability to make a sound. Faster, faster. Drowning. Aching. Itching. Burning. Faster, faster. Freezing, burning._

_Faster, faster._

--

Lionpaw awoke sweating.

"What was that you were dreaming about?" Jaypaw asked curiously. Despite Lionpaw's protests that he was perfectly fine (he was, too - he didn't have a scratch on him!), Jaypaw had insisted that he stay in the medicine cats' den the night after the battle. Lionpaw suspected this was mainly to prevent him from chewing on darkweed, but the attempt was futile. Lionpaw would get it as soon as he was dismissed; he _needed _it, and he could already feel his longing for it.

"Oh, it's nothing," Lionpaw replied dismissively. Jaypaw wasn't fooled.

"I didn't know other cats could do that. I thought it was only medicine cats and sometimes leaders."

"Do what?" Lionpaw asked curiously, in spite of himself.

"Dream about real events like that. Have you had this dream many times before?"

Lionpaw flinched. Why did his brother have to look into his mind all the time? "It's real, then?"

"Seems like it. Do you know what it's about?"

"Not really." It wasn't exactly a lie - he _thought _it was about Heatherpaw, but he didn't understand what it was implying. The wounds he'd seen on her surely wouldn't cause such feelings, would they?

Jaypaw gave him a long look. "Perhaps StarClan are trying to tell you something. You should maybe try working it out."

"Isn't that _your _job?"

"Not necessarily. Look, Lionpaw, it's possible that this dream was given to you because you know something others don't."

_Know what? That Ashfur and Thornclaw are secretly having an affair when they're meant to be mentoring? That darkweed can give you both the best and the worst of feelings? That Heatherpaw hurts herself when no one's looking? _For a moment, Lionpaw was overwhelmed.

"Work on it," his brother meowed firmly, "if only to get yourself to stop dreaming that dream. And no, darkweed will _not _help you out here." Somehow, Jaypaw could always tell what Lionpaw was thinking.

--

Since Jaypaw refused to help Lionpaw with the dream, the golden apprentice had turned to Poppypaw for help. He decided he may as well - Poppypaw already knew everything else anyway.

"Maybe we should just wait around in WindClan territory for some sort of clue," she mewed.

"Oh yes, that's a great idea. Perhaps we can have another battle while we're at it."

Poppypaw glared at him. "Alright then, if you're so clever, what do you suggest we do?"

Lionpaw had no answer for her. He didn't _want_ to think about the dream anymore; he just wanted to go have some darkweed and then drop into a nice, long, dreamless sleep.

When he didn't reply, Poppypaw asked, "Explain to me again what the dream was like."

So Lionpaw described, as best he could, the events of his nightmares. He found he was never able to meet her eyes while he was at it - he felt like he was giving away a part of him, a part so personal that he didn't want anyone to see. Of course, Poppypaw was very kind about all of it. She never pushed him when he was too uncomfortable, and she let his mind wander whenever he felt like it. The only thing he wasn't allowed to do was chew darkweed, which was what he wanted to do most. If Lionpaw was honest with himself, he had to admit that Poppypaw was treating him far better than he deserved; the craving for darkweed was making him irritable and unreasonable.

Poppypaw was deep in thought for a long time, analyzing everything he'd said. Finally, her voice thick with defeat, she mewed, "Next time you have this dream - that means _no darkweed_ for a bit - wake me up. I think we should go to WindClan at night, when you'd normally be asleep."

Even Lionpaw could see the logic in the plan.

* * *

Haha, I totally forgot that Berrypaw doesn't get his warrior name until later in the books. But, if I want to have Lionpaw get his name in this fic, Berrypaw will have to have his ceremony first. So if you have any name suggestions for Berrypaw, they'd be much appreciated. I don't like the name Berrynose and I want to change it, but I have no idea what to change it to.

I'm awfully tempted to make it something like Berryflower or Berrycloud, but I don't know if I want to be that mean.


	11. Chapter Ten

This, my friends, is the chapter that started it all. There I was, innocently doodling on a piece of paper, when suddenly there was this _scene_ in my sick, twisted mind that absolutely had to be written down, nevermind that I'm not much of a writer.

Enjoy?

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN**

Lionpaw forced himself out of his sleep as soon as the dream started. Obediently, he prodded Poppypaw awake. If the young she-cat was feeling apprehensive about what they were about to do, it didn't show. She seemed very calm and composed as she and Lionpaw started towards WindClan territory. Lionpaw, however, was twitchy and unsettled. The darkness did not help; he jumped at every twig snap, every crunch of leaves. He was glad there was still snow on the ground. He knew he would have been a total mess without it.

He wondered if they should have told some cat where they were going - most likely Ashfur - but it was too late now. They would just have to hope for the best. _Everything will be just fine. There's absolutely nothing wrong. _Then why was he so edgy? He nearly jumped out of his fur when an owl hooted joyfully somewhere in the distance.

"Almost there," Poppypaw muttered. She paused at the border. "Do you think we should disguise our scents?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter, does it?" Lionpaw snapped. "If we're going to do this, let's just do this."

"Lionpaw. All we're doing is having a look around."

The apprentices' eyes met. How could Poppypaw look so _confident? _Perhaps she fully believed they'd be fine. Lionpaw wasn't so sure; apart from the fact that he didn't think WindClan would appreciate two ThunderClan cats sneaking into their territory in the middle of the night, he was terrified as to what they would find there. He tried to remind himself that warriors weren't supposed to be afraid, but he also thought that warriors rarely did what he and Poppypaw were doing.

Quite suddenly, as they were trudging along, he felt his vision blur. His heart nearly stopped - what was that about? He hadn't had _any_ darkweed. Poppypaw had made sure of that.

"Lionpaw? You okay?"

Lionpaw gasped, feeling a familiar pressure. But this wasn't fair! He wasn't even asleep!

"Heatherpaw," he croaked.

Maybe Jaypaw was right and StarClan was trying to tell him something.

"Heatherpaw?" Poppypaw echoed. "Lionpaw, what's going on?"

Heatherpaw.

_Heatherpaw._

He started running. Confused, Poppypaw chased after him. "Lionpaw, please, tell me what's going on. Did you...did you see something?"

_Heatherpaw._

Running, running. Why couldn't he run any faster?

_Heatherpaw._

No matter how quickly he moved his paws, it wasn't quick enough.

_Heatherpaw._

He saw them at a distance – a tom and a she-cat.

_Heatherpaw._

She was screaming. Why wasn't anyone helping her? Why couldn't anyone hear her?

_Heatherpaw._

But he could save her. He alone could save her.

"_Help me…please, somebody help me."_

"I'm coming, Heatherpaw."

"_HELP ME, please, anybody. Take me away."_

"Hold on, Heatherpaw, I'm coming!"

_Heatherpaw!_

Screaming, shrieking.

_Heatherpaw._

Burning, freezing, itching, aching.

_Heatherpaw._

Silence - the will to scream but inability to make a sound.

_Heatherpaw._

Faster, faster.

_Heatherpaw._

Drowning. Aching. Itching. Burning.

_Heatherpaw._

Faster, faster.

_Heatherpaw._

Freezing, burning.

_Heatherpaw._

Faster, faster.

_HEATHERPAW._

He didn't think twice – as soon as he was close enough, he launched himself at the WindClan tom, claws unsheathed. The WindClan tom was stunned for a moment, but he came to his senses quickly enough and retaliated fiercely. Lionpaw dodged the blow easily, but couldn't help feeling a bit shocked, despite the fact that he had only recently fought WindClan. _Great StarClan,_ Lionpaw thought, scrambling to get away. _I forgot how fast WindClan cats are!_

"Who are _you?_" he snarled.

Lionpaw was about to ask the same. He wasn't sure who he'd expected, but it wasn't _him. _He vaguely remembered seeing this cat in a WindClan patrol…and at the battle!_ 'It looks like no one's here to help you...__' _Owlwhisker, wasn't it? He clearly didn't remember Lionpaw.

"Poppypaw," Lionpaw meowed carefully, never taking his eyes off of Owlwhisker, "go get help. Breezepaw, Crowfeather, anyone." Poppypaw didn't reply, but she sprinted off immediately.

Heatherpaw stared at Lionpaw.

"Go away. This has nothing to do with you," Owlwhisker snarled.

"You hurt her." Lionpaw's voice shook.

"You wouldn't understand."

"You _hurt_ her."

Owlwhisker simply snorted and rolled his eyes. Lionpaw would have been less annoyed if Owlwhisker had fought and raged. His nonchalance stung – didn't he even realize what he'd done?

However, he was relieved that Owlwhisker was making no effort to run away. Perhaps he thought he'd go unpunished, and that escape would be futile. _Punishment…surely he will be punished!_

Poppypaw returned quickly, bringing Breezepaw, of course, as well as Ashfoot, Crowfeather and Whitetail. The WindClan cats looked bewildered.

"What's all this about?" Ashfoot asked, but her voice was more curious than hostile. Clearly Poppypaw hadn't explained – not that Lionpaw expected her to. He wasn't sure what to say himself.

"Lionpaw, right? What are you doing here? Poppypaw simply told us there was an emergency."

Lionpaw glanced at Breezepaw uneasily. To his relief, the dark apprentice spoke up. "Owlwhisker has been hurting Heatherpaw regularly. That's why…that's why she's the way she is."

Crowfeather looked confused. "What do you mean, he's been hurting her? You mean he caused the marks on her back?"

"And more." Lionpaw looked away. "He's been…_mating_ with her. Forcing her."

The WindClan warriors stared at him. Whitetail was the first to react; she left out a small cry of horror and stepped away from Owlwhisker as if he was some sort of contagious illness. Crowfeather, however, was as expressionless as ever. "That's why she's been so distant?" he asked.

Breezepaw nodded. "Must be. I knew something was up, but I didn't realize...I didn't know...until now..."

Coughing quietly, Ashfoot mewed, "We'd better get her to Barkface and see what he can do for her."

"I don't want to go back to camp." Heatherpaw stared at the ground as she spoke, unwilling to meet anyone's gaze.

"Don't be silly; of course you must go back to camp," Ashfoot told her sternly. "What you went through is terrible; you must have something for the shock..."

"I've been going through it for ages with only a few cats bothering to ask what was wrong! I'm not going to drop dead if we wait a bit." Ashfoot flinched, but Heatherpaw ignored her. "Lionpaw, Poppypaw - could I spend a bit of time with you two first? Although I suppose you're both very tired..."

"Oh no, that's fine," Lionpaw assured her quickly, struggling to keep up with her sudden attitude changes.

"Then let's go." She began confidently padding towards ThunderClan's forest.

"Wait, Heatherpaw, you can't just do that!" Whitetail called after her, but the WindClan apprentice paid no attention to her.

--

"So what is this stuff again?" Heatherpaw asked curiously.

"Darkweed," Lionpaw replied cheerfully, nibbling on the delicious substance with glee. How pretty the moon looked!

Poppypaw looked disgusted. "Watch out, Heatherpaw, he'll get you hooked on that stuff and you'll go just as crazy as him."

"I could do with a bit of insanity, actually. I'm not too keen on reality at the moment."

"Understandable." Poppypaw's tone was sympathetic. "I wonder what they'll do with Owlwhisker? Sorry, Heatherpaw - if you don't want to talk about it..."

"Nah, that's fine. It's a bit of a relief...I don't have to pretend anymore. Anyway, Breezepaw looked pretty mad. If it's up to him, I'm sure Owlwhisker will be shredded."

"And you? What would you have happen to him?"

"I don't know. I don't care anymore."

"Look, Heatherpaw, Poppypaw! The stars are dancing across the sky!"

* * *

XD And that concludes Heatherpaw's trauma. For now, anyway.


End file.
